Dear AGBO - Should I Tell His Wife That He Cheated With Me?

       I met this young man Diekola while watching football at a local Nigerian restaurant. He asked me for my number and things progressed from there. We have a mutual friend in Nigeria called Emeka, a guy I went to secondary school with. Emeka and I have known each other for more than 14 years. Emeka confirmed that this guy was single and had no attachments. Diekola and I ended up having an intimate relationship and things got physical really quickly.


     Three weeks later, I found out that Diekola lied about his last name, lied about the fact that he was married and asked his friends including Emeka to corroborate his lies, which they did. Diekola has been married for less than two years and has a one year old son, his wife is gorgeous and works as a TV presenter.
      I hoped rather than believed that this was a mistake on Diekola's part, that he was influenced by friends and he just got carried away with things. I decided to contact his RCCG pastor to help counsel him through this.

      In conversation with the pastor, he revealed to me that Diekola is the youth pastor of the church, Diekola's parents head their own RCCG parish in Nigeria. Diekola has been struggling with his faith particularly paying his tithes. The pastor suggested that Diekola be 'caught-in-the-act' in order to counsel him properly. He suggested a meeting at his office where I would 'drop in' on a meeting with him and Diekola. I agreed to it and when I suggested coming along with my own pastor, the RCCG pastor was against it.

      I went to this meeting with a friend of mine only to find out that the pastor had given Diekola the heads up and that Diekola's lines had been carefully rehearsed. I left that meeting certain of the following;
   1. Diekola has probably cheated before and will DEFINITELY cheat again
   2. Diekola IS the negative influence on his friends and not the other way around as I had thought
   3. I had ZERO confidence in the pastor's ability to help in anyway and his only role would be to cover up Diekola's wrong doings.

    Diekola showed no sign of remorse, my friend described him as being smug. In conversation with him,while we were dating the following phrases stuck out as to his mind set, "it is a man's world", "what a woman doesn't know won't hurt her". At the meeting when I asked him why he would do something like this, his response, "It's a guy thing".

    As a result of all this, I feel that the wife should know, even if its only to ensure she gets tested for STDs at least once a year.

    My intention is to send her all the evidence via post either to her house or her office;

- Recorded telephone conversations with Diekola
- Text conversations with Diekola
- Call log from Telephone company
- Text conversation with Emeka confirming Diekola was single

    I also have pictures and videos, but I don't think I should send those as it would just be rubbing salt in her wounds.

    I am keen to hear people's thoughts.