Last Endorsement For Jonathan: The Endorsement Of Witch

...Though The Dead Cannot Direct The Living
President Goodluck Jonathan is on trial in Saturday's presidential elections. The evidence against him is mounting. The speed with which the 2011 favorite native son without shoes has gone from celebrated to excoriated is alarming. No one seems to have a solution within his PDP ruling party to reverse the trend.

We have never had it so bad. It has been a long walk in the wilderness. The Jonathan presidency has taken its toll on Nigeria. Despots like Abacha, Babangida, were far more generous to Nigerians. After all, they were not voted into office. We were governed the way dictators rule their subjects.

Majority of Nigerians exist somewhere on a continuum between slavery and freedom in Jonathan's administration. There is outright subjugation. There is indentured servitude. There is molestation and intimidation. There is fear and insecurity. There is pestilence of social and criminal injustices. There is epidemic of hopelessness. There is metastasized poverty. There is systemic corruption...

There is spiritual blindness. In the stunted economy, those who find work are often exploited and poorly paid if by luck they're paid.

In this campaign season, Jonathan has covered more geographical areas in Nigeria than his counterpart from the opposition party. It is also on record that no Nigerian politician has sought endorsement from unlikely sources and groups like Jonathan. Jonathan with unlimited cash has bought endorsements of prosperity preachers aka gospel comedians of CAN, local terrorists OPC, NDPVF,MEND, Obas, Obis, Babalawos (juju doctors), Ogun, Oya, Sango, Obatala, Soponna, Ayelala, army of brigands and bandits, and lately the Ogbonis.

The political campaign is now in the homestretch. I'll like to remind Mr. Jonathan to cap his endorsements with the most crucial and potent endorsement – the endorsement of Witch of Endor – and he should consider visiting the Witch of Endor for victory in Saturday's election.

Here is why:
The parallels between King Saul and President Jonathan are strikingly overwhelming. Saul had been denied a dynasty and stripped of his kingdom due to his disobedience. Saul had abolished the rules of Holy War, keeping some of the spoils and allowing the King of Amalekite army to live. Like Saul, Jonathan is determined to cling to power. In 2011, he had signed an undertaking that he would not contest for second term. But then, he denied ever seen such a contract.

When he realized his defeat was assured at the polls, he postponed the elections. The cornerstone of his administration is corruption, crime, lack of accountability, and transparency, looting, and violence. In fact, Jonathan had legalized corruption and made it a national creed and national pride. He had converted the treasury to his own personal ATM bribing eligible voters with Dollar on the campaign trail.

Like Saul who spared the king of the Amalekite army, Jonathan spared and surrounded himself with big time thieves, drug barons, election riggers, violent criminals like Buruji Kashamu, Dokubo Asari, Tompolo, Diezani Alison-Madueke, Femi Fani-Kayode, Doyin Okupe, Ayodele Fayose, Bode George, Musiliu Obanikoro, David Mark, and who's who in the Nigeria robbery cartel.

When Samuel confronted Saul with sin, Saul offered “orthodox” excuses claiming that he had spared some animals in order to sacrifice to Yahweh. When critics and opponents confronted Jonathan he said “Corruption is not stealing, corruption in Nigeria is not as bad as it has been exaggerated … how much did Jim Nwobodo stole (sic)?”

Saul refused to step down from his throne after being rejected as king and the situation deteriorated. He was tormented by evil spirit and became increasingly antagonistic toward David, threatening his life on numerous occasions and ultimately pursuing him relentlessly around the wilderness. Likewise, Jonathan is bent on retaining power at all cost after being rejected by in the court of public opinion by Nigerians and the situation of Nigeria degenerates daily.

Jonathan has shown support and approved election rigging methods that will ensure his return to Aso Rock. He's tormented by demonic spirit of corrupt power. He has become more wicked and cruel toward Nigerians and opposition members. He deploys military and police to rig elections for his party.

Probably, the most profound challenges Saul faced as king were matters of national defense. One morning, King Saul was awakened by his secretary of defense with bad news. Somehow the powerful enemy forces of the Philistines had encircled the relatively weak collection of Hebrew troops guarding the Hebrews. The Philistines were on their way to root out the Hebrews.

Saul remembered how well things had often gone when there was no king and the leadership of the Hebrew nation was in the hands of prophets and judges. At the top of the list had been Samuel, whom the Hebrews still mourned. King Saul wondered what Samuel would have advised them to do had he still been living and involved in leading the people to make strategic decisions.

Saul couldn't get that thought out of his head and one thing led to another like what happened when Mrs. Reagan began to consult with an astrologer every morning so that she could advise her husband the Actor/President of the US, how to act in the face of the challenges that would face him that day. Saul decided to look for a medium the Witch of Endor who could consult with the dead Samuel in order to get some advice. And we all know what happened to Saul and his sons afterward.

Similarly, the issue of safety and security in Nigeria is perhaps the greatest problem facing the Jonathan administration. It has been over 300 days since Boko Haram terrorists with relative ease abducted 300 Chibok schools girls and carted them off into captivity. The Nigerian Army whose Commander-in-Chief is Jonathan, is no match for the ragtag Boko Haram forces.

Jonathan, chased by desperation, frustration and the lust of power to hold on to the presidency becomes confused, overly-agitated, restless, incoherent, delusional, and can't think right. He has been running from pillar to post. He was in Jerusalem to pray. He attended vigils in Pentecostal churches and other prayer assemblies. Babalawos (Juju doctors), Afas, Ogbonis, name it intercede on his behalf. Like Saul, Jonathan stormed the residence of Atiku Abubakar in the dead of the night looking for support. A reliable source told me Dame Patience, and Jonathan's mother have joined association of familiar spirits to assist Jonathan to win the elections.

As my own campaign contribution to Jonathan's reelection bid, I humbly recommend him to seek the endorsement of mother of all endorsements – endorsement of the Witch of Endor. But this much I can guarantee Jonathan: election cannot be won with the endorsement of the Witch of Endor because the dead cannot direct the living. No amount of endorsements can give Jonathan victory on Saturday the fact that he has long ignored Nigerians, Nigerians are living with the daily ugliness of slum life, and with educational castration and being trampled by the iron feet of exploitation, their emotional outbursts will break out in massive rejection of Jonathan by voting him out on Saturday.

Jonathan will go down in Nigeria's history as probably the most deviant figure. I say that because he reveals and represents a deep cultural preoccupation with failure and inadequacy which are projected unto deviant figures. He serves as a mirror to the culture which produced him – a mirror in which our culture darkly glimpse its own values, distorted by terrifying failure to achieve that which is necessary to move this sleeping giant nation forward.

Ding Dong! Ding Dong! like King Saul the “I don't give a damn” President is defeated!

By Bayo Oluwasanmi