My WAEC Results Was Seized Twice – Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon
Honorable Patrick Obahiagbon in an interview with Punch Newspaper
revealed his ordeal with the west african examination council exam
(WAEC).
He said his Results were seized twice ‘cos of the ‘big grammars’ he used.
Punch: Did you write exams in school in these big words?
Honorable: I used such words very-very freely in my exams both at
the secondary school and in my university and little wonder I had the
misfortune of my English results being seized intermittently in my O’
Levels. WAEC released my results for the other subjects and withheld my
English result.
This happened for about three years. Twice, I passed the University
Matriculation Examination but I could not proceed to the University
because of my English results that were not released. At the end of the
day, it was released after the third attempt.
Punch: Why do you always use ‘big grammar’?
Honorable: I am not really consensus ad idem with those who opine
that my idiolect is advertently obfuscative. No no no, it’s just that I
am in my elements when the colloquy has to do with the pax nigeriana of
our dreams and one necessarily needs to fulminate against the
alcibiadian modus vivendi of our prebendal political class.
Punch: How do you talk to your wife, children and even your friends?
Honourable: I relate with my family and friends very warmly and in
an atmosphere of camaraderie, stripped of my confutational habiliment
and gladiatorial homilies. I am a very peaceful, calm, level-headed and
celestially attuned soul personality.
Punch: Is this the way you proposed to your wife, speaking high tech grammar?
Honourable: Of course, the business of the day when I interfaced with
mywife on matters of the heart had to be in plain Caeser’s languageand
you can decipher why that had to be so. The matter in view did not
permit itself of sphinxian conundrum.
Punch: Do you know that many people don’t take you too seriously when you talk because they think you are not communicating?
Honourable: Why will I be perturbed from ensconcing myself in
the palatable arms of Morpheus because people have deprived themselves
of the cultivation of the regime of the mental magnitude?
I read all the farrago of baloneys and vacuous bunkum from pepper
soup objurgators. The spirit of animadversion remains their fundamental
human right.
It also remains an indubitable fact that I get millions and millions
of requests daily from people all over the world requesting for my
verbal mentorship which positive cosmopolitan reactions have assisted my
equipoise and righteous sense of pachydermatous garb.
I cannot put my nose to the grindstone daily and expect to
be understood by those luxuriating in a modus vivendi, verging on pepper
souping, goat heading, suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising.
Has a philosophical wag not once pontificated that things of the
spirit are spiritually discerned and that it takes the deep to call the
deep? We will speak more on this matter of critiques and chichi dodo
another day.
Punch: Why do you pull your trousers up beyond the waist?
Honourable: Hahahaha….That trousers style is called Yohji Yamamoto.
It was my own audacious statement to remonstrate against the pervasive
tendency of Nigerians especially our youths that took to the practice of
putting on trousers exposing their lower anatomical contours and I will
do it over and over again.
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