How To Survive As a Single Mother in Nigeria
Parenting
can be quite an arduous adventure. It is hard enough with a committed
partner, but when you are doing it alone, especially in Nigeria, the
difficulty rises to a whole new level. It can be tricky, maintaining
good mental health, thriving as an individual and nurturing your
children in the best possible manner.
There
are quite a number of women in the country who are single parents
through the death of a spouse, divorce, abandonment or choice. While
some of these women often feel like they have got it really rough, or
that they are doing just about everything wrong; there are others who
are successfully and joyfully raising children by themselves.
Wondering how they are scaling through? Jumia travel,
Africa’s No.1 online hotel booking portal, shares a few suggestions to
help smooth the journey of any single mother in Nigeria.
HAVE A SOLID FINANCIAL BUDGET
A
majority of problems faced by single mothers in Nigeria is financially
related and most times, it results from improper financial planning. As
a single mother, it is essential that you draw up a financial budget
per time and stick to it. Calculate how much you earn, what your main
expenses are and figure out what is left over for saving and plan
accordingly. This ensures that you live according to your means per time
and you are do not always run into debt.
PLAN AHEAD FOR EMERGENCIES
Life
is full of uncertainties and so it is important that as a single mother
you have solid plans for emergencies. Aside from putting money aside
for urgent situations, ensure you have you medicine cupboard filled with
relevant medication for cases or allergy or infections. Look for
emergency babysitting service in your area that can often provide help
fairly quickly in situations where you are incapacitated and need care
for your child. Also, create an “emergency list” of friends and family
members you know you can call on for help in dire situations.
ADJUST YOUR PRIORITIES
A
number of single mothers in Nigeria tend to fall into the superwoman
trap, assuming they can pull off combining a 9-5 job with house
cleaning, cooking meals, and tending to their children’s needs. As a
single mother, it is important that they stay realistic about what you
can and can’t accomplish in a day and set priorities. Lower your
expectations and give yourself time for a break. You do not even have to
do everything on your own, free up some personal time by hiring help
from time to time.
AVOID “COUPLE ENVY”
This
might seem trivial but is a major cause of depression for many single
mothers in Nigeria. You are a single parent, things are extra difficult
and you most times get lonely; it is normal to feel envious of friends
who have kind, involved husbands, men who actually want to
be with them and pitch in, but it is important to avoid getting caught
up in the illusion that everything would be perfect if you just had a
partner. Remind yourself that everyone has problems, even married
people. Constant envy breeds resentment and bitterness, which eventually
drains your energy and causes you enough stress to ensure your
situation gets even extra difficult.
BUILD A COMMUNITY
Do
not be too proud or shy to rely on people around you when you need help
or support. Forge a strong community around you, people who can provide
emotional support and a sense of belonging – the perfect antidote to
the isolation brought on by solo parenting. Even if you are in a city like Abuja where
social life is not ver active, you can push yourself into social
situations, join a church or a club, and attend events in your location.
Do not be afraid to open yourself up to others. Just because you are a
single mom, does not mean you or your child should not have other people
to go to. Have a diverse social circle and keep a positive outlook on
life. If you sit around and play victim to your circumstances things
will just keep being difficult for you.
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